The Opportunities of Infertility

That seems like an oxymoron... I mean infertility is a lack of opportunity, isn't it?  It all depends how you look at it.  My husband and I fit into the category of "infertile" because I have endometriosis, a hormone, immune disease which effects fertility.  I'm not gonna lie, it's a difficult physical situation, causes pain, there isn't a sure cure, and the list of negatives could run on, and on in terms of not having kids.....  Or, you know what, it's also an opportunity, if I choose to see and treat it that way.

I have opportunities;

• to show compassionate understanding for others who suffer with infertility, chronic pain, or other struggles
• the freedom of our schedules and days to minister-sharing our home, being available in a different way, to encourage, to pray, to write, to invest in relationships at church, in our community, and where we work/live/do ministry
• to learn about myself, contentment, and in my faith walk with Christ what it means to really find life, joy and peace in Him alone in a different context than others
• we can live on less financially because there's two; mouths to feed, bodies to clothe...

Yes, I find it challenging not to be able to have a family, but you know what... it's okay with me.  This is God's will for us, we will accept it, love the kids he's surrounded us with, and rejoice.... because though I'm not a Mommy, I am His child, and sooo very blessed.

Jesus gave His life for mine, providing salvation for all who will believe in Him.  He suffered by leaving heaven, taking on the burden of all the sins of the world, enduring the Father turning His face from Him, and a cruel death of torture on the cross.  "For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God..." 1 Peter 3:18  He willingly endured losses like no other.  Knowing His sacrifice to offer us forgiveness and rescue us from eternal death, any challenge we face is still grace compared to the wrath, judgement and separation from God that we rightly deserve.
 
The Apostle Paul in  Philippians 4 wrote that he "...learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am."  Paul went through a lot of difficulty his lifetime, persecution, prison, division with his friends, ship wreck, more time in prison, and quiet possible was martyred for his faith... yet he had learned contentment.  He also wrote, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." in the same chapter.  He understood life was through Christ, and that suffering was a privilege for the cause of the gospel.  Because knowing Christ is an eternal hope, that can't be effected by our circumstances.   

In light of the examples of Christ, and Paul, and so much more God has to say in His Word about how we ought to view life and struggles, I can say that my life is complete because of Jesus.

God could still work in my body, and allow pregnancy, or we could adopt....perhaps. Who knows what the future holds?  Today, though... I'm going to love God, trust Him, run to His truth when I am overwhelmed with feelings of insufficiency as a woman who can't bear children.  I will review in my mind who Christ says I am, rejoice in the blessings He has given, and serve in whatever capacity He's given me for this day.  It changes day to day for me, as pain is part of my daily life, but it doesn't mean I can't pray, worship God, and keep on seeking to glorify Him, and share with others His goodness, and grace.

Whatever your challenge, your deficit, that dream you can't attain.... If you have Christ, you have life.  We show if we really believe that He is enough, and what we really value/worship in how we deal with loss, struggles, and pain.  

Links to check out related to this topic:  
Where Life is to be Found Paul Tripp Video 
5 Things Infertile Couples Want Friends, Families, and Churches to Know-Blog Post by Brian Nicholson

Daddio

Wishing my father a Happy Father's Day!  When I think of my Dad there's lots of stories that flood my memory; watching Dukes of Hazard, Jays games, and Dad dozing off... cutting wood, washing cars, eating watermelon, and droppies (dutch black licorice, salty or sweet), snowmobiling, 4 wheeling, and family adventures for vacations from Canada's East to West Coasts, all in tent trailers, to the walk we shared down the aisle on our wedding day....  My Dad's not a big talker,  but he's a worker, an "I will find a way" kinda man.  Weather it was building a barn so we could have a hobby farm as kids, coming up with a cost effective way to heat our swimming pool, or pouring a cement foundation for a garage; he'd make a plan, and then make it happen.

Our home wasn't perfect, and we have our issues.  There is no perfect upbringing, but always much to be grateful for.  The three things I am most thankful about my father are what he taught (perhaps it's the teacher in him) about; faith, work, and independence.

Dad instructed me, and all of the family in truths of Scripture, and importance of a having and maintaining a personal faith relationship with Christ.  We moved a lot as a family growing up; no matter where Dad's work landed us, a top priority was finding a good church.  

I am also thankful that he taught me to work hard, to not give up, and to always do my best.  He showed this in his own work ethic, and expected it in us as kids; weather it was chores, school work, or employment.  Half-hear-ted wasn't an option.

As Nugteren children sometimes it felt a little like the school of hard-knocks, but looking back it was lessons in independence.  Weather it was saving up to buy something all on our own, or solving a problem, Dad gave us lots of opportunities to figure it out, make mistakes, and learn.  It meant we needed to; become resourceful, humble, realistic, and learn the value of money, hard-work, and determination.  I am thankful now, as an adult that things weren't easily handed our way, it really did teach me much.

Dad.... Daddio, I love you.  I thank you for your involvement in my life, and for what you have taught me.  I pray for us all as a family, as my brothers, your boys are fathering, and as you father grown kids, and grandfather little ones.  May God be glorified in the legacy that is yours.  

 "For this reason I bow my knees before the Father,  from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name,  that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man,  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love,  may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,  and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.  Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:14-21

No Rights to Question

What?  Why?  In a culture where rights and opinions are exalted, it seems unethical to suggest we shouldn't question anything or anyone.  After all, we are free thinkers, and deserve to, right? 

Well, when it comes to my faith in God there comes a place at which I have to stop striving for things to make sense to me, or be my view of just.  Who am I to question God?  If I have an issue with Him and what He's permitted then I am suggesting that I know better.  This mindset and attitude puts me on the throne of my heart, and dethrones the God of the universe.  Really, when you boil it down, that's what I'm doing.

In Scripture the book of Job is a powerful account of a man who lost it all physically speaking; his family, his livelihood, even his health was in jeopardy.  One day he had it all together, the next day, like a game of dominoes it all came crashing down.... You really see someone's character at these crucible moments of life.  What did Job do? Check out Job 1:20-22

"Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped.

He said,

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
And naked I shall return there.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God."

He felt the emotions of loss.  He demonstrated his mourning by ripping his clothes, shaving his head, and falling to the ground.  But in his heart; he worshiped.

Chapter 2-37 Job's friends come to help him, and with all kinds of questions and platitudes they attempt to give purpose and reason to Job's situation.  They question his heart; you must have sinned.  They rationalize; you must deserve God's judgment.  They challenge him; you must repent.  They conclude; you must be wicked.  Job's own wife urges him to curse God.  Helpful influences?  With friends and a wife like that..... Not all of what they had to say was wrong, or bad.  There were attempts to focus on the goodness of God, His justice and so on.  It's easy to criticize these friends of Job, but I've done it too,  pulled out my theological rational, and broken it all down into step-by-step how to deal with________....  I want life's situations to fit neatly into my box of categories of why things happen, and how to fix them. 

 All this time God as thoughts and conversations are had in the book of Job, He is patient, listening, waiting for His time to be consulted, to be heard.  Job's heart is distraught; he knows he's a just man, yet he feels injustice.  He wants to know why.  He defends himself to his friends, and asks God soul searching questions.  There is a battle for Job's mind, for his response.  He doesn't have the vantage point in this trial that we do reading it, or the full Word of God that we have now at that time in history.  We read that Satan has received permission from God to test Job (1:6-12, 2:1-8)   

"Satan wants every situation to be a temptation to doubt God and turn away from him.  But God wants it to be something that refines our faith and causes us to move toward God and to trust Him."  "Thankfulness: Even When it Hurts"-Susan Lutz

We face the same struggle in our day-to-day reality.  The magnitude of our situations vary, but the spiritual battle is still raging.  Satan whispers, "You don't deserve this, your God is not good..."  He lures us away from God's truth, and knows us well in how to present the temptation.  We are choosing constantly weather to entertain the thought, develop a sinful attitude, or refuse; and instead think and act according to truth as children of God.

 By the end of this Biblical account; he's defended himself before his friends, and comes to God to unburden his soul.  Job is then humbled when God reminds him who He is, and who he is in comparison (Chapter 38).

Job is confronted by God's omnipotence, and he is repentant.

“I know that You can do all things,
And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.
³ ‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’
Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand,
Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.”
⁴ ‘Hear, now, and I will speak;
I will ask You, and You instruct me.’
⁵ “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear;
But now my eye sees You;
⁶ Therefore I retract,
And I repent in dust and ashes.” Job 42:2-6

In a proper view of God we don't need to ask questions or come to a place of understanding, we need to have faith.  He has an all of time encompassing world-view, He has been gracious to give us His Son, and life eternal.  I don't deserve to know Him, let alone express anything less than praise to Him.

"We can only serve one God.  Whoever or whatever controls how we feel is ultimately our God.  If we do not allow God to tell us how to feel, we are not allowing Him to rule our lives, either."  Dr. M. Wicks

 Life is not about me, and my comfort.  Life is about Him, and His glory.  I don't claim to live without questioning God, I do.  Which brings me to repent often, to stop and submit to Him, to be in awe of His grace and to worship Him more, for His love, for His character.

The book of Job ends with justice, God confronts Job's friends, and deals with their incorrect theology, He replenishes Job's physical health and material wealth.  You and I may not have that resolution to our circumstances now or in this life before Christ returns, but we choose how to respond-and in choosing will glorify God or not.  

God's Word has been written so we can read this account, and learn from it. Though you and I are living in a different era, and the Bible will never hold our account, we get to choose how we respond to life, and influence those we rub shoulders with by how our theology intersects with life.

Lord, teach me not to question You; to have a proper view of You, and of myself.  Your grace towards me is more goodness than words can express.  I pray I will magnify your name through whatever this life brings, because I hold fast to You, Your promises and character.  Shape, and mold me through the trials, and teach this heart to focus on the eternal, and not get trapped by Satan's temptations.  For Your name to receive glory, only and ever.  Amen.