Total Restructuring | Homosexuality | ACBC Exam Question #43

 Define “total restructuring”. Describe how it works, using a case regarding homosexuality as the model.

“Total restructuring” refers to complete overhaul in core beliefs, thinking, and thus resulting in actions/lifestyle change according to God’s truth rather than secular standards; stripping a counseling situation back from behaviour to the core doctrine which propels the sinful choices at the foundational level.    

Homosexuality is permissible in our culture today, even glorified to an extent.  Society says, “If it feels good do it”, there is no standard other than your own satisfaction so if an intimate relationship with someone of the same sex fills the bill for you, congrats, you found your thing. Big red flags ought to fly up in our minds, and sirens ringing loudly against these lies.   WRONG!!!  Scripture is clear on this; “You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.” (Lev. 18:22) “For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.  And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper,” (Romans 1:26-28)

“Every time you step outside of God's boundaries, you question the wisdom of the One who created and controls it all.”¹  Because gender confusion and sexual freedom philosophies so permeates culture even believers are dooped into accepting and living by these guidelines/principles.  “Traditional views are out, so called ‘progressive’ views are in, and despite the incessant discourse of the champions of sexual liberation, people remain confused – confused about who we are as human beings, what it means to be male and female, and what parameters are for healthy relationships and sexual expression.”² I think it is important to note here that homosexuality is not worse or different than any other sin problem.  If someone came for counseling saying; “I was born a murderer, and not allowing myself to kill is just wrong.  It’s who I am, and how was made” they too would require total restructuring to deal with their sin of murdering, and the foundational beliefs this is built upon (moral code).  

In counseling an individual struggling with homosexual tendencies a total restructuring is necessary to bring them to biblical convictions (doctrine) about the matter, as a foundation on which their thinking, choices, and lifestyle flow from.  First it must be established and agreed with by the counselee that God exists (Romans 1:18-20), is our ultimate authority, and rightfully deserves obedience. (Jeremiah 7:23, Ecclesiastes 12:13)  Then the counselee must see the Bible as the Word of God, His standard for living, and agree to submit their lives to it fully in obedience (2 Timothy 3:16-17, Deuteronomy 32:46-47, Joshua 1:8, Micah 6:8, Psalm 119:105).  Teaching then must be communicated to the counselee about homosexuality, lust and that grace and forgiveness is available (1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 18-20, Micah 7:18-19, Romans 6:6,11-14,19, 2 Timothy 2:22, Proverbs 1:10, 2:11-15, 4:25-27).  Repentance must take place for the counselee (1 John 1:9); agreeing with God about their sinful thinking and actions, and commitment to change.  Together a plan needs to be set in place to avoid temptation, how to deal with it when it comes, and regular, personal accountability for the counselee to help them live out of biblical truth, a changed life (Ephesians 4:17-32).  There is hope for homosexuals.  There is grace for every sin (Ephesians 1:7, Titus 3:7).                  

¹ Paul Tripp https://www.facebook.com/pdtripp, June 18, 2014 status post

²“Jubilee: Recovering Biblical Foundations for our Time” (periodical), Jennifer Forbes, page 6

Cooperation with Physician? Psychologist? | ACBC Exam Question #42

20. Would you work cooperatively with a physician? A psychologist? Justify your answers biblically.

                I believe that each counseling case requires its’ own wisdom, and decisions.  It would really depend on the situation/counselee and the medical professional in question in each case.  There would be many questions I would have before working cooperatively with any medical professional.  Are they a believer in Christ?  Will they whole-heartedly support the biblical counsel I am providing?  Or undermine and second guess at every turn?  Can we work collaboratively or are they in opposition to biblical counseling?  Scripture says; “holding fast the faithful word which is in accordance with the teaching, so that he will be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict.” (Titus 1:9)  That would be my aim in these scenarios; hold to Scriptural truth and help others to do the same.  If a counselee chooses to side with secular psychology, ignoring/denying or refusing truth we may have to terminate our counseling sessions.     

                Personally I have endometriosis, and have greatly benefitted from advice, medication, surgery, and a psychological review (required after a severe allergic reaction, intense medical intervention, and bouts of psychosis) from physicians and a psychologist.  “They” are not an enemy.  We as people are physical, as well as spiritual.  Body and soul; those two parts of our being overlap, effecting one another.  It can be very beneficial, even necessary to understand what a counselee deals with biologically in order to properly counsel them, empathize, and give them biblical guidance to dealing with the heart issues that may flow out of physical ones.  I would never seek to offer medical advice as I am not a doctor.  Medical professionals are needed to address bodily health concerns, and their input may be beneficial in aiding me understand a counselee better, a disease or ailment they have, and the mental effects proven to develop from said condition.

                Many medical professionals have evolution as their anthropological view, and secular psychology as their preferred method of addressing issues beyond the biological.    Jesus said, “He who is not with Me is against Me” (Matt. 12:30).   It is important to note that, and to discern carefully as both counselees and counselors in receiving aid.  I don’t feel we need to “throw the baby out with the bath water” and refuse all medical attention, or completely discredit their practice.  We ought to seek their help in the field they specialize-medicine.  For issues of the heart, God’s truth and biblical counsel ought to be sought and facilitated.  “…seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.” (2 Peter 1:3)  We live in this world, in physical bodies, but are called to not be “of the world” (1 John 2:15) in how we conduct ourselves, Whose standards, opinions and counsel we seek.  I hope I have sufficiently answered this question, and am prayerful that God will go before me and grant wisdom (James 1:5) when I am faced with these decisions as a biblical counselor.  I cannot concretely say “Yes” or “No”, but would evaluate each situation according to these principles and Scripture.     

Program for Helping a Couple with Communication | ACBC Exam Question #41

Outline a comprehensive counseling program to help a couple develop good communication patterns.

                “God-honoring communication is an area in which we all struggle.  Work hard at this biblical discipline, and the Lord will help you be forebearing, edifying, and loving.”¹  In working with a couple I would want to have another man there (my husband, a pastor, or another counselor) concentrating on the husband in their counsel, it’s just my preference and conviction about women leading men (1 Timothy 2:11-15).  Here’s an outline of what I would desire to achieve and how in counseling a couple on communication.  Depending on responsiveness, and progress I would adjust the model as required. 

WEEK #1-Pray to begin-asking God for help.  Praise them for admitting and issue and seeking counsel. Listen to their story, take comprehensive notes.  Outline the purpose, direction, and goals of our meetings.  Give hope, and assign them a “Journal of Upsets”-recording any/all confrontation- noting day, time, how long they last, topic/issue/catalyst, and resolution (if any).  Depending on where things are I may ask this to be a collaborated effort, or individually.  Also assigning “Christ and Your Problems” by Jay Adams to be read 3xs by each, highlighting the top 5 phrases that impacted them most for next week.  Ask for commitment to the homework.  Close in prayer, asking them each to pray as well. 

WEEK #2-Open in prayer.  Accountability on homework, reviewing together the disagreements they encountered and if they responded biblically or not, and how this could have been dealt with differently.  Take over the quotes they highlighted in “Christ and Your Problems” and seek to apply them to their situation.  Using GOD/ME responsibility circles illustrate how the wife/husband are responsible before God for their own lives, communication, and interaction with one another.  It is not their role to change the other person (God, Holy Spirit, Word of God does that), we are accountable for how we respond.  Have them read aloud alternating verses James 3:2-12, and discuss together the weight of our words.  Homework-continue “Journal of Upsets” logging, read Ephesians individually 3xs this week, and bring back 5 verses/statements you desire to live out in your marriage.  (I chose the whole book of Ephesians because I believe knowing who you are in Christ (Chapters 1-3) fuels the Imperatives of Chapters 4-6).  I would also ask them to go on a date that week, could be a walk in the park, coffee out, whatever…. And talk about Ephesians together; what they are learning and want to live out from its’ truths.  Close session in prayer-asking them each to pray.       

                                                                                              

WEEKS #3-6 Open in prayer.  Accountability on homework.  In-depth discussion of Scripture reading assigned and how it intersect with their lives personally.  Note and encourage them on improvements in shortened length of conflicts, biblical resolutions, etc.

Discussions:  Week#3- Verbal Communication  Week #4-Non-verbal communication,  both weeks discussing their tendencies, each give input of they would benefit from/prefer (perhaps space to think so they don’t speak and then regret it, eye contact, commitment not to leave the room till resolved, etc.)  (Ephesians 4:1-3, 25-32, 5:21)  Week #5-Conflict Resolution define Biblical reconciliation; confession of specific wrong, and asking of forgiveness.  The other person hears, grants them forgiveness, and commits to not holding it against them or bringing it up in the future.  Note importance of words used, specific actions/words repented of, not generalizations.    (Romans 12:14-21, 2 Corinthians 7:9, Colossians 3:5-19)  Week #6-Role Distinction-Husband servant leader Wife-submission What this looks like in their home, struggles, practical implications (1 Corinthians 11:3, Ephesians 5:21-33, Colossians 3:18-19) Each of these weeks would include homework of; journaling conflicts, a date, and selected Scriptural reading 3xs bringing back applicable verses to them personally. 

WEEK#7/8 depending on progress, etc…  Would be the final meeting reviewing teaching, encouraging them, and suggesting material specific to their needs for further study together.  Perhaps; “Tying the Knot Tighter”-Martha Peace & John Crotts, “Building Marriages God’s Way”-Faith Church, “Marriage Matters”-Winston Smith, “Your Family God’s Way”-Wayne Mack, “A Couple After God’s Own Heart”J+E George.  There are so many good resources.  I would recap for them progress they've made and encourage them to maintain regular dates together, the conflict resolution process we have instilled, and offer that we can always meet again if troubles arise.  Final prayer and “graduation”!         

                ¹ “Tying the Knot Tighter”, Martha Peace & John Crotts, page 90

Sin | ACBC Exam Question #40

Describe how you deal with sin in counseling. Use a case history, in which you were the counselor, to show how you dealt with sin.

                Since the fall of man into sin in the garden of Eden (Gen. 3) the whole earth has been permeated with wrong, and it’s effects in a way that I cannot adequately communicate with words (Jeremiah 17:9, 1 Corinthians 2:14, Ephesians 2:1-3).  The first persons’ sin I need to deal in counseling is myself (Psalm 51:5).  It is vital that I as a counselor know Christ as Saviour (John 3:16-17), and have been personally redeemed by Christ (1 Peter 1:17-21, Galatians 3:13) I must keep short accounts with my Saviour (Hebrews 4:16, James 5:16, Psalm 32:5, 1 John 1:9), repent often and restore my fellowship with God and others (Luke 17:3-4, Acts 3:19).  I am a wicked sin machine (Ephesians 2:1-3), loved by a gracious God who forgives (Ephesians 2:4-7), enables me to stop sinning (Ephesians 4:17-25), change (2 Corinthians 5:17), and Who is helping me recognize my own sinfulness daily, and growing me in sanctification to become more like Him (2 Peter 3:18).  I have to be right with Him vertically, and others horizontally in order to effectively minister truth to counselees.

                In dealing with counselees’ sin I like to ask questions to probe their understanding of their choices, thoughts, and actions to see what their hamartiology practically looks like.  Such as; “What do you think God thinks about that?”  “What does the Bible say about your choice?”  Observation of their words, tone, facial expression and body language will help me pick up on what they believe about sin in general, and the specific one(s) we are dealing with in their heart and life.  At times in counseling I have done a mini-study to define sin to a counselee if needed.  Explaining sin is; anything that we think, say or do that is against God’s standard (the Bible). I use Scriptures, asking them to look up, and read together with me some of the following; Genesis 3, Romans 3:9-23, Romans 6-8, and Romans 14:23 which says; “for whatever is not from faith is sin.”  This encompasses worry, fear, doubt, pride, and so much more.

                Once the counselee comes to the place that they admit what they have done is in fact sin I urge them to confess to God, and when necessary to others; telling Him (and them if to another person(s)) it was wrong, they are sorry, and request forgiveness.  I explain that repentance isn’t regretting you were caught, but sincerely wanting to change the course of their actions/thinking.  At times I have bowed then and there with a counselee and allowed them to pray in repentance to God.  Then I will encourage them from Scripture (1 John 1:9, Psalm 103:8-12, Romans 8:1) that God promises He has forgiven, forgotten, restored them and holds no condemnation over them.  I challenge them they need to address sin seriously, each and every time confessing to God and others.  No, our sin does not remove His favour and grace from us, but it breaks fellowship, is serious, and needs to be taken seriously and dealt with every time we sin (Romans 6).  I seek to be balanced in addressing sin; speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), letting them know I sin too, and that I repented this morning (or whenever was the last time).  A realistic goal in counseling is not necessarily to have the person stop the sin (though this is ideal, and not impossible, we will continue to fail until we reach heaven) but to arm themselves against the temptation with an alternative righteous plan, and an understanding that when and if they do fail to repent, seek reconciliation and claim His grace, and get back up and try again (not spiral down into more and more sin and further from God). 

                As example from my own counseling experience I was working with a girl who worried.  When she came to see from Scripture that worry is a sin (Philippians 4:6-9, Matthew 6:25-34), not an excusable character flaw she inherited.  She prayed aloud to confess this habit, and a specific recent occasion of worry to God, asked Him for forgiveness, and requested help from Him to change her thinking.  Worry is still an ongoing sin struggle in her life, but it has improved.  She still needs to confess often, but is seeing growth, and celebrating God’s grace as He helps her live by faith, not by sight, and to trust Him with her circumstances.                    

Homework Assignment Examples | ACBC Exam Question #39

Give some typical assignments for a person who is depressed. Next, do the same for a person who worries. Finally, do the same for a person who is afraid. Don’t discuss what you would do in giving assignments; rather give actual assignments as you would write them down for the counselee.

                In all three of these classifications (depression, worry, fear) of problems I may assign a “Journal of Upsets” in the first few sessions to gather more data about the causes, frequency, duration, and counselees responses to their problem(s).  I always find this very insightful, and also a springboard to more practical homework assignments for the counselee.  Also, the booklet “Christ and Your Problems” by Jay Adams is a resource I often assign the first week or so to give them hope, and get them thinking about how Christ provides answers and resolutions to their personal situation. 

                A person dealing with depression is desperate for hope.  I may ask them to make a daily practice of listing things they are thankful for, five in the morning, and five before bed.  Write them down daily, and bring them in to the next session.  After listing the blessings on paper I would ask that they pray in gratitude to God for them.  I would require them to do their best at faithfully fulfilling their responsibilities (wife/husband, mother/father, daughter, student, employee, church member, etc) regardless of how they feel.  Focusing on obedience to God, not feelings.  Then weekly ask in accountability how this is going, if they failed how, what did they do to correct that failure? (Repent, ask forgiveness, purpose to change).  This may involve a checklist created together with the counselee that can be a motivator/personal inventory for them to review throughout their days.  Memorizing Philippians 4:8,9 and developing a go-to list of Godly, helpful thinks they can think on will help then curb their thought life to Christ, and the truth.  I may also ask them to do at least two fun things in a week, and come back ready to tell me about it.  This is to instill joy, lightheartedness, and reinvigorate their lives.

                A person who worries would also benefit from memorizing Philippians 4:8,9, or Colossians 3:2, or Matthew 6:25-34.  I may ask them to write it out on a 3X5 card, review the verse during their morning devotions; and pray asking God specifically to help them not to sin by worrying but rather think on truth, His character, and to have faith in their circumstances.  I would ask them to keep the 3X5 card with them throughout the day, and when worry creeps up review the passage, and ask themselves questions that we together have developed to change their thinking.  For example; Is this true?  What am I telling God I believe about Him when I worry about this?  Can I change this?  Will my worrying help in anyway?  Has God ever failed?  Will He now?  Pray, and praise rather than worry and wonder.  A few booklets I like to assign on worry are; “Releasing Worry and Finding Worth as a Woman” by Charles Swindoll, and “Worry: Pursuing a Better Path to Peace” by David Powlison.  I may ask a counselee who worries to set aside time three times during the coming week to interact with a Godly, encouraging Christian about anything that would be mutually beneficial (Ephesians 4:29,30), this would facilitate them getting their thoughts off themselves, and hopefully enable them to see God at work in a larger context beyond their life, and experience. 

                A person trapped in fear needs to assess what God given responsibilities they are neglecting because of their fear.  I may ask them to analyze their lifestyle during the coming week and write down every responsibility they are neglecting due to their fear, and bring it with them the following week.   I could then focus our discussion in the next session on 1 John 4:18 “…perfect love casts out fear….” and 2 Timothy 1:7; “For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.” One by one addressing each listed neglect from homework assignment; helping them see how love can enable them to stop neglecting their responsibilities, and overcome their fear, enabling righteous obedience to God, and fulfilling their God given roles.  “If you substitute love for fear in your life as well as in your language, you can do what love impels you to do.”¹  Then the next week their homework could be practically doing what we talked about, and tracking weather there was improvement/change in taking on their responsibilities that have been neglected, and why or why not.  I may require a fearful counselee to read Philippians 4:4-9 once daily until our next meeting, and have them answer the following questions;    What commands are there to obey?  What promises/comforts are there to claim?  What are the qualifications listed for what we allow ourselves to dwell on/think about?

¹ “What to Do When Fear Overcomes You”, Jay Adams

Anger | ACBC Exam Question #38

Define anger biblically. Describe at least five ways people deal with anger. Describe both sinful and godly ways of dealing with anger.

                The word anger is derived from the greek terms; “theumos” (anger/wrath, boiling point, explosive), “epitheumia” (anger centered around a desire/lust), and “paragismas” (irritability, exasperation, embitterment). Jay Adams wisely defines anger as; “God given emotion to help me solve problems biblically, and quickly.”¹ Anger can lead to sin, but does not have to.  There is such thing as biblical anger, and biblical ways to respond when feeling angry.

Anger becomes sinful when it is selfishly motivated (Matthew 16:24-25, Philippians 2:3-4, 1 Peter 2:23) and when we fail to maintain God’s goals in the matter.  People deal with anger in a variety of ways.  Attacking people verbally or physically is a sinful response (Ephesians 4:26,31, Proverbs 29:11, 14:17).  Dwelling on frustrations with others but refusing to try to resolve the issues biblically is common, and another wrong way to deal with anger.  Ephesians 4:26 is a direct command to deal with anger, not allowing time to pass and bitterness to fester; “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger”.  Revenge is often fuelled by anger, an action in retaliation against someone who has wronged us, this is sin and only compounds the problem, not providing resolution.  Fleeing and attempting to leave the circumstance or person behind is another way that anger is addressed.  For example, an employer may make someone angry, so rather than communicating and dealing with the issues at hand, they simply quit, and move on to other work, hoping to find a better situation.  Though this may seem like a resolution, the individual will face others in the future that make them angry, running away is not a Biblical response to anger, we need to learn to deal with the emotion properly.    

The correct Biblical response to anger would be to evaluate the cause of anger.  Does it simply require repentance privately before God and a change of thinking (Phil 4:8)?  Is confrontation required? Yes, if someone or a group of people has sinned against you (Matthew 18:15-21).  If your anger has caused you to respond sinfully, you need to seek forgiveness from them, as well as confess to God and seek His grace in the matter (1 John 1:9).  God wants us to seek reconciliation in relationships, and His heart for us as believers is to live in unity and peace.  “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:31, 32)

 ¹ “The Christian Counselor’s Manual”, Jay Adams, page 

Depression Progression | ACBC Exam Question #37

 Describe and diagram how depression develops and is to be alleviated.

Depression is defined as; “debilitating mood, feeling or attitude of hopelessness, which becomes a person’s reason for not handling the most important issues of life.”¹  Depression takes place over a period of time.  The diagram below depicts how this process could take place in a person’s life, and two potential responses to it.  

A life event (miscarriage, negative health diagnosis, ect.), or emotional turmoil (teen child’s rebellion, tragic death of someone close) are triggers which are grounds (cause) for depression to be a possibility in someone’s life.  There are so many possible triggers, I’ve just mentioned a few here.  On the left side of the page is diagramed an unbiblical response to the situation, and on the right a biblical response.  You’ll notice that on the onset of the circumstances (trigger) the responses are the same (overwhelmed, hopeless).  It is natural for difficult challenges that come up in life unexpectedly to catch us off guard, to make us sad, and come unravelled emotionally.  We can however choose how we respond. 

 On the left side of the page we see depicted an unbiblical response.  The person’s feeling continue to be negative and grow in intensity.  They are spiraling downward in a struggle.  With the cross icon there with a question mark I am seeking to convey that Jesus, and Scripture is the hope that will provide answers, relief, and a way out for them.  It is never too late in the process, God’s Word offers hope and help to all.

        The right side of the page is illustrating a biblical response to the same life event/emotional turmoil/trigger situation.  This person hears biblical truth, personally believes it, and finds hope for their circumstances.  This change in perspective enables a turn around, a progression towards contentment, joy, and peace.  As the individual intentionally builds a biblical view of their circumstances into their thinking, and grows in faith they are able to overcome emotionally even if their trigger situation never does.  Scripture is listed on the diagram that would be effective in aiding someone facing depression.

¹ Faith Biblical Counseling Ministries Track 1 conference notes