Define and describe the importance of language in counseling. Give examples.
The words we
speak are always important. They are the
outflow of our hearts (Luke 6:45). And
Scripture warns us, “But I tell you that every careless word that people speak,
they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment.” (Matthew
12:36) In counseling we are ministering
to people who will put a lot of stock on our words. What we say will guide their view of God,
their situation, themselves, and how they need to respond to their
circumstances and change. We need to
take seriously the responsibility we have before God to these people we serve;
and be intentional, selective and wise in what and how we speak to our
counselees.
“….speaking the
truth in love….” (Ephesians 4:15) ought to be our guiding principle. We need to be sure our advice is rooted in
God’s Word, and if we are not 100% positive, tell our counselee that upfront,
and commit to finding out what God’s standard is in that area, and get back to
them. We ought not to ever speak
“off-the-cuff” when we don’t know for sure, it’s much better to take the time
to research a biblical response than to defer to our own opinion or experience.
“He who restrains his words has knowledge….” (Proverbs 17:27)
Pointing out sin
is vital, but should not be done with a tone of belittling or judgement. We should never respond with astonishment,
being surprised by the depth of a persons’ sin.
Saying things like “I would never think you could do something like
that” or “That was stupid!” is inappropriate. Asking questions that lead them
to determine their own guilt before God is a wise way to help them determine
right from wrong. For example, if a wife
comes to counseling who is entertaining thoughts of adultery with a co-worker,
some questions to probe their hearts, and understand their knowledge of it
being wrong may include; “What do you think God says about what you just told
me?” “In your perception of this
situation at what point did you become guilty of sin?” We can note their
comprehension of Biblical truth and standards, and clarify if necessary. This wife would need to know that
entertaining the temptation to lust is the root issue, it is never okay to even
think about another man that way (Matthew 5:27-28).
Our words need
to be affirming, and hopeful. “Pleasant
words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” (Proverbs
16:24) When the people we counsel are
making progress, or have done their homework well, give them praise. Even when their situation seems dire, assure
them of God’s presence, and help them remember His sovereign goodness. There is always hope when Christ is our
anchor (Hebrews 6:19).
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