My life has changed from what I've been used to quite a lot this year.... here's the "bomb" of this post..... and the "bomb" I am adjusting to; I am now on long-term disability. As missionaries we have sent out letters, and contact has been made to our supporters, and family, so many people already know. It's an adjustment I am coming to terms with.
I've been dealing with health issues for years, and years.... this news is not bad news, it is good. It just doesn't necessarily feel good emotionally speaking I suppose. Though it's also a kind of a "fresh breath of air" relief, the opportunity to take life a little slower, to see the same day-to day from a different angle, and have time to appreciate it, ponder it, and learn. Physically speaking my body needs this, I cannot preform the tasks of my ministry role as Kitchen Manager any longer. The ministry we serve with has been most gracious, and I've seen their care and support in a deeper way than ever before.
God has been faithful, we had no sweet clue at the end of 2012 that 2013 would take shape like it has. God has preserved my life, given me daily grace to breathe, to know HIM, and through the pain and trial He's brought; Nathan and I have a deeper appreciation for what it means to belong to God.
We are beyond words grateful for how He takes care of us, and for where we are at in our lives physically (living on a Bible School campus and camp property where we can learn God's Word, interact with believers, and see His truth at work in lives), what a blessing. So many people around this world suffer in so many ways for their faith. I can't even imagine. We are blessed, we have a home, access to health care, and all the books and medical research we could ever read (which at times needs to be in moderation so I don't get too paranoid/negative/overwhelmed/pessimistic/statistical about my endometroisis).
We are more grateful than ever for the eternal truths that are unchanging. No matter what my health does, no matter who runs into our car, if our stuff burns up or gets stolen, if we are in an accident and face permanent physical limitations or "worse"...... You just don't know. Change is inevitable, nothing is reliable. Accept for GOD and His truth. So, running to, betting on, and being hopeful in Him, and His Word.... that's the only solace that offers lasting peace, and real contentment.
I have a choice about my condition, I can bemoan it and self-pity party all day long, or I can look at it from a different angle. Like every coin has two sides, I can list and focus on the negative, or be positive, count the blessings, rejoice in Him, be realistic that sure I can't do that anymore.... but that doesn't mean I can't do anything.
There's much I can still do, and I am delighted to see what God has right here today in-front of me, and for our future. I am soooo very thankful He's with me, and in His grace He's teaching me more and more about Him, my sinful self, and just how awesome it is to mine His truth, and attempt to walk in it.
"May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that hope may overflow by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13
I tell you honestly from my heart, hope is in the person of Christ. Life is too hard to face alone, and if you think life is hard.... there's eternity to come. Where's your hope? What's your rock through the changes of life?
David expresses in Psalm 62:1-3a, "Hear my cry, O God; Give heed to my prayer. From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a refuge for me..."
Through this change, and whatever else God calls me to face, accept, be content and rejoice about, I cling to my Jesus, my Rock, He is my hope, my joy, my song.
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